Typical Morning

What's that noise? - it's the alarm. Get up. Shave. Shower etc. Open Frodo's curtains. Shake Frodo. Get dressed - no shirt needs ironing. Drag Frodo out of bed. Carry Frodo downstairs. Establish Frodo's choice of Breakfast Cereal. Suppy Frodo with this - add a couple of strawberries as I'm getting my own at the same time. Eat. Tell Frodo to hurry up and eat his. Start ironing shirts for self and Frodo. Call from upstairs - have forgotten to get Samwise his Milk. Get Milk. Deliver to Samwise upstairs. Switch bedroom telly on to "Milkshake" for Samwise. Downstairs again. Finish ironing shirts. Empty dishwasher. Start helping Frodo Dress. No Socks. Upstairs to check - no socks in any drawers. Root through laundry for "freshest" socks for Frodo. Remember to pick up mobile phones (2 as I'm on-call this week). Make butties for Frodo (mental note to buy him a new lunch box as the zip is knackered). Sort bag of fruit for me. Check Frodo's progress - underpants on backwards and socks near ankles. Shorts on Frodo followed by usual fight over shirt. He wants long sleeves. It's over 30 degrees Centigrade/ 90 Farenheit outside. Apply suncream to Frodo. Rollup Frodo's sleeves. Much tears and complaining. Show him my rolled up sleeves. Apply suncream to me. Check Frodo's bookbag. He needs 1 quid for "Teddy Bears Picnic" on Friday (bring own Teddy - will have to remember that). Only have a 2 quid coin. Shout around house looking for permission slip/envelope/pen/pound coins. Novelist Supermum suggest I raid moneybox. Spend 10 minutes raiding moneybox - wrong one only copper coins. Can't get into other money box. Novelist Supermum sorts this and supplies 1 quid (hey where's my other quid?). Frodo has calmed down and seems happier about the shirt. Supply Frodo with shoes. No he wants to go the toilet. He does so and comes downstairs with shirt untucked. Tuck it all in again. Frodo attempts to roll sleeves down. Roll them back up again. Locate pass for work. Find car keys. Check Frodo's shoes. Drop sunhat on Frodo's head. Shout "Bye to Mummy!", "Bye to Samwise". Out of door. Strap Frodo into car. Throw briefcase and bag of fruit in boot. Whizz off to school - deliver Frodo to breakfast club - Aaahh's from lady school visitor as Frodo rounds corner with floppy sunhat, rolled up sleeves, skinny leg revealing shorts, crooked tie, scuffed shoes and chimney sweep brush eyelashes. Then off to work for a rest...