I've got to go into work on Sunday and Monday, so it's a night in with a chinese takeaway. Switched my brain off and switched on the annual comedy fiasco that is the Eurovision Song Contest.
I'm missing Terry Wogan again - Graham Norton is not the same.
Azerbaijan - Standard Euro young lady does ballad stuff.
Spain - What happened to Spain?
Norway - Dull Crooner.
Moldava - Traditional Moldavian Punk Music
Cyprus - Boy bandalike.
Bosnia & Herzegovonia - Thought they were going to do a charleston at first.
Belgium - Man and Acoustic Guitar
Serbia - Jangly Eurotrash
Belarus - Big number with Fairy Wings.
Ireland - Fat Lady sings a Ballad - cue the wind machine...
Greece - Plate smashing number - seriously it was!
United Kingdom - we really don't want to win this anymore do we?
Georgia - Didn't she just sing for Azerbaijan
Turkey - Excellent strobe lights - shame about the song.
Albania - Trying hard to be a rock song - but failing.
Iceland - The Fat Lady is singing - but it's not over.
Ukraine - Cowled Lady in a body stocking.
France - Shouldn't this be called World Music?
Romania - Plastic pianos, pyros and a lady in black spandex.
Russia - Parisienne Walkways plus yodelling?
Armenia - The Armenian entry was augmented by an impressive cleavage display.
Germany - Cute lady sings like Lilly Allen on speed.
Portugal - Trying too hard
Israel - Most off key singer of the night!
Denmark - started off with something that sounded like The Police's "Every Breath You Take" and then segued into an Abba number.
Spain have had to sing their song at the end, for technical reasons. Not sure why - perhaps the acrobats, ballerinas and tumbling clowns weren't ready?
We've been shouting "cue the wind machine" about two thirds of the way through each song.
After the above lot, this year we've decided to 'spoil our paper' and exercise our right not to vote :)
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